


Turn and Face the Strange

by TortiTabby



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, M/M, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 16:27:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15710964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TortiTabby/pseuds/TortiTabby
Summary: Kathryn Lester starts to feel a change in her youngest towards the end of 2009.





	Turn and Face the Strange

**Author's Note:**

> This was prompted by/dedicated to insectbah on tumblr!  
> I hope that you like it. I have actually been wanting to do something like this for awhile so thanks for putting it in motion for me! 
> 
> Title from Changes by David Bowie

Kathryn Lester prided herself in being a good mother. She had an excellent relationship with both of her sons. She was proud of her boys and the men they were growing up to be with one of them off in the world doing what he wanted to do and creating things he wanted to make.  
  
The other, younger one was temporarily back at home after life had dealt some particularly harsh hands his way. Still, she supposed things seemed to be looking up for him. The silly videos he spent all of his days making were actually very good and she was delighted to see she wasn't the only one who thought so. She was happy that he found a creative outlet instead of continuing to agonize over a loss he should have never gone through so young, or trying endlessly to find a job that required all of the hard work he put in for those degrees just to come up empty handed. He was starting slowly resemble the odd child she knew him as.  
  
It was nearing Autumn that she started to get suspicious. Her Phil was generally, save for the recent times, a happy boy. He always had been. Yet this was a different kind of happy. It was the kind of happy that spread across his face and lit up his eyes for a reason. From something specific that she for some reason wasn't privy on. She tried to not let it trouble her when his smile would drop when he saw that she was watching him or when his ecstatic and thrilled words were laced with doubt and what sounded like shame.  
  
  
  
“Did your brother seem different when you were up visiting?” She asked her eldest when she had him trapped on the phone one night.  
  
“Mum,” Martyn said his voice surprisingly stern. “There isn't anything wrong with different.”   
“No. I know that. He's just acting a bit odd is all.” She said. She could hear how flustered her own voice sounded but she really prided herself in knowing her boys and now they were both not only acting strange but making her feel like a bad mum when she questioned it. Not that she would ever let that on.  
  
Martyn held some small talk with her for a few more minutes before he made a rather transparent excuse to leave. He really wasn't the best actor in the world.  
  
  
“Phil you are sure you don't want to come with? I'm sure the Hendrickson's wouldn't mind.”  
Phil shook his head, his long black hair falling in his face the way that made her ache for the days where she picked his hairstyles that were never in his eyes so much and drove her crazy in the only way a son's haircut could.  
“Mum I'm really fine. I told you I'm having my friend visit. Dan?”  
Ah, the friend that he was constantly on that computer with.   
“Are you planning on having any girls over?” Her husband asked with a quirked eyebrow and sly grin.   
“Dad! No.” Phil looked vaguely ill as he pushed them towards the door. His father roared with laughter.  
  
Kathryn lagged behind as Nigel made his way down their driveway to load their bags into the back of the car. She turned to Phil who seemed to be staring at her with intent. She could feel the unsaid words vibrating off of him as he stood there in the loudest silence.  
He clearly had something he wanted to share with her. Maybe he was having girls over after all  
  
“Child?” She asked.  
He seemed to snap back to reality and took a full step back.  
  
“Have a good trip, Mum.” He said before hurrying forward to pull her into a hug. She tightened her arms around him and squeezed. The hug lingered longer than normal but she had a feeling that her youngest needed it. Whatever it was that he wasn't telling her wasn't sitting right with her and perhaps she needed it, too.  
  
She climbed into the car and watched him wave them off from their front door as they drove away.  
“There's something troubling our boy.” She said softly, not meeting her husband's eyes.  
“He's had a rough go of it lately.” He replied quietly and squeezed the hand he found in her lap.  
“He was acting like he wanted to tell me something. I don't like him hiding from me.”  
“Darling, I love you but if this is where you start talking about psychics in your family I'm turning the radio on.”  
  
She laughed at that and made a point to enjoy the time away from the stresses of day to day life and catch up with friends she hadn't seen in too long.  
  
When they pulled back into their driveway days later the awkward hesitation from before was totally forgotten until she walked her suitcase back through the threshold.  
  
The house looked the same. Nothing seemed to be out of order. It actually seemed to be cleaner than it had been before they left and normally she would tease Phil and be quietly impressed. Everything looked right but her twenty two year old didn't quite meet her eyes and everything about his demeanor screamed “I did something.”  
  
When they asked about his friend's visit Phil was dismissive and eager to move to the next subject, swiftly taking the spotlight off of himself and turning it back on them. Kathryn noticed the ghost of a smile though, and decided she didn't have to worry too much and could press a different time.  
  
  
  
A few months passed without incident and Kathryn knew Nigel had forgotten her worries by now. Phil was acting slightly stand offish again after briefly returning to normal. Whatever normal in this family meant, anyway.  
  
His friend from online was going to come up and visit again. Phil paced throughout the house ranting about useless things before he left to go retrieve him from his train earlier that morning. She worried. Phil wasn't the best driver when there wasn't snow on the ground, after all She was also worried about the change that had rooted itself in her Philip. It was there again, today, stronger than it had been before.  
  
Her boys shared everything with her. Phil hiding something from her was new and scary. This was supposed to happen when they were younger and reckless teenagers. She thought she had been in the clear from secrets held from her. She couldn't push and make him not want to tell her anything but the waiting game was taking a toll on her.  
  
“Maybe he's with a girl that he knows through his friend that is coming?” She suggested out loud. Her husband grunted in acknowledgment but failed to contribute to her conspiring. He would tell them whatever it was when he was ready. She just wanted him to be ready already.  
  
She glanced out the iced over window for the millionth time and was delighted to see two tall figures clamoring out of the car and making their way up the path to the front door.  
  
She forced her attention back to the television and wondered vaguely what show she had left it on before Phil left.  
  
“We're here!” Phil called out as they hurried to take their wet shoes and coats off at the door.   
The boy next to her son was younger than she had expected him to be. His brown hair was curling at the ends and his frost kissed cheeks and were bright pink along with the end of his nose. His bright, excited eyes met hers as she stood to greet them.  
  
“Hello, boys.”   
The young boy, Dan, beamed at her with a face full of dimples.   
“Hi Mrs. Lester.” He hurried to say before glancing at Phil.  
She turned her attention to her son and _Oh_.  
Oh she had been such an idiot.  
  
Phil glanced at Dan. The corner of his lips turned up into a small grin. His eyes lingered on Dan's before drifting down to his smile and back to large bright eyes. They were on a different planet entirely. This boy was clearly infatuated with her son and judging by the way Phil couldn't tear his eyes away from Dan's it was not a one sided thing.  
  
“I'll make some hot chocolate!” She announced before darting to the kitchen. She was having a hard time processing and was eager to have a moment alone.  
  
It wasn't that Phil was different than the Phil that had grown up inside of her head. She knew long ago that he was never going to be the kind of person who would be predictable.   
It was the feeling of failing and not being the mother that he needed that ate away at her as she put the kettle on the heat.  
  
Phil didn't think he could come to her with this. Did she say something that made him feel that way? Was he ashamed? Did he think that they would be ashamed of him?  
  
The thoughts made her heart ache. She supposed there had been hints along the way for a long time now and that what mattered was that he was happy. He was the kind of over the moon happy that was contagious not even being in the same room as the two of them.  
The sound of their laughter carried into the kitchen as if to prove a point.  
  
She sighed. After all was said and done it wasn't about her. This wasn't the subject to be about her insecurities as a parent. This was big and it was all about Phil and only about Phil.   
“Mum?” Speak of the devil.  
  
She turned around to see Phil standing in the middle of the kitchen by himself. He looked so small in that moment that all she wanted to do was cradle him like a child. She had her time for that, though, and as much as she hated it the sooner she realized that time had passed the easier it would be on her.   
She briefly met his eyes before staring down at her shirt and keeping her hands busy by drying them at the hem.  
  
“Mum.” Phil said again, his voice stronger and more demanding this time.  
She looked back up.  
“I didn't know how. I, Dan,” He gulped and looked around the room desperately as if one of the kitchen appliances were going to waltz over and explain to her that her son was involved seriously with the boy in the next room over.  
  
“You happy, Love?” She asked when the silence dragged on.  
She watched as his shoulders release in a soft sigh, an invisible weight dropping off of them.  
“I am, mum.” He said with a crack in his voice.  
  
Her mind raced frantically with what to say next. It seemed crucial that she got this right. That this was some kind of parenting surprise test that was sprung on her and she hadn't studied.  
  
“I'd love to properly meet him.” She said softly.  
“Do you- Are you upset? You must have questions?” Phil's face was scrunched up in concern.  
  
 _No, I'm not. Yes. I don't know. Why couldn't you tell me? When? How long have you known? Did I do something wrong? Am I doing this all wrong? I don't know._  
She shrugged.  
Phil gave her a scathing look. That clearly wasn't going to cut it.  
  
“I asked the important one... You can always come to me, Phil. I might not have any answers but don't let that stop you from asking. You- You can tell me anything.”  
Phil rushed her into a hug.  
  
“How do you always seem to know what to say?” He asked, muffled by her hair.  
“I am psychic, you know.” She joked easily, while she sobbed with relief inside.  
  
Phil laughed and pulled back. He stared at her with his eyes wild and full of happiness.  
“Alright, Mum, I'll go get him. I know you'll love him as much as I do.” They both froze. Phil gave her a sheepish look but he didn't move to deny it. Red bloomed up the sides of his neck. She wasn't sure who between them was more surprised at confession.  
  
“Well go get him, then.” She whispered softly and effectively thawing Phil from where he stood still in front of her.  
“Right.” He started out the room before pausing and smiling back at her.   
“Go, go.” She urged him on with a shooing motion. He finally turned out of the room and she immediately melted into one of their kitchen chairs.   
It felt as though Christmas had come a few weeks early with the happiness that was radiating throughout the house. At the same time it felt like this was a reminder that a Mother's job was never ending and she was ready to sleep into the new year.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think!
> 
> Talk to me on tumblr:  
> tortitabby.tumblr.com
> 
>  
> 
> This took me literally an hour to title and I at one point almost called it "Word to your mother" This is what happens when you finish writing something at one in the morning.


End file.
